SUIT YOURSELF                                                                                            02/52

Board Members -

Whether you’re buzzing off the new year energy with fiery vigor or you happen to be feeling any kind of discontent this winter, we get it. Whatever may be holding you back, you can overcome it. Give yourself that second chance. 

What does it mean to give ourselves, or others, a second chance?

Here at the B.O.D, we envision our future and chart the course for how to get there. 

But what happens when we change our minds about said course…or how to get there?

Wait, is that even allowed?…and herein start the vicious voices of self doubt. 

Many of us are taught from a young age that the decisions we make will put us on an unchangeable path towards a particular future. If we want to be a doctor, the right college can be a make or break. If we want to travel the world, we better do it before we have a career. If we want to start a family, we are subtly reminded that we’re not getting any younger. 

None of this takes into account the ups and downs and zigs and zags of life. Maybe what we think we want or work towards is not always the right thing. We learn, we grow, we reexamine. And then, often quite out of nowhere, we are pulled, with gusto, to follow our intuition. 

Whether it means unexpectedly switching gears on our career track and heading in a different direction or going through a breakup that seems unsurvivable, sometimes we just need a second chance. 

And guess what? We’re allowed to give it to ourselves. 

An unfulfilling career doesn’t mean we are not destined to find our passion. A toxic relationship does not mean we are not worthy of love. Falling off the wagon, any wagon, doesn’t mean that you can’t reboard.

Time is an illusion, baby. There is no such thing as “missing the boat”, because guess what? The boat leaves when you say it leaves. Legendary wedding dress designer, Vera Wang, didn’t enter the world of fashion until she was 40 years old. Julia Child didn’t publish her first cookbook until after she was 50. And prolific folk artist, Grandma Moses, is probably the most impressive example of a successful career shift at an advanced age. She didn’t start painting until she was 78. 

Repeat after us. It is not too late. 

Some things that help us when we reach a crossroad:

1. Acknowledge you want to make a change. Say “F off” to the voices in your head saying you should have started years ago. It’s irrelevant. If you start now, where could you be in 5 years? Prove those bastards wrong. 
2. In the words of Paul Simon, “Make a new plan Stan and set yourself free.” Think about what you want to achieve and then start figuring out how to get there. 
3. Achievable steps. Set realistic expectations for yourself and break down the goal into action items and benchmarks. Don’t try to move mountains. Small steps daily pave a longer road. 
4. Outreach. This may start with a divorce lawyer, friend, therapist, or someone else who works to help people make a change. 
5. Be patient as you invest in yourself. Don’t measure your success on a daily basis - but in a month, week, year from now you will be that much closer to the goal. It takes years to become an overnight success.
6. Enjoy the struggle. The struggle to make your dream future into your reality can be brutal, but this is the meaty part of your movie. 
7. Celebrate even the smallest of wins, learn from the mistakes and use those lessons as power to win the next battle. 

And lastly, suit yourself. You deserve it.

Written by Board Member Sarah Doar